There are times when I feel so useless, I can't help myself. When I looked at my classmates, I envy them. Each of them have something so special about them. Some of them are very clever. Some are very loveable. Most of them are pretty. And of course, most of them are geniuses in their own way.
I feel useless, unimportant - like some kind of side characters you have in a drama, the super tiny mini characters that people does not even realize their existence. In my case, I am one of the characters that people never know I exist.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not a genius.
I'm just an ordinary girl with some kind of very ordinary life.
I tried to be nice, but somehow, it's not my nature.
Have you ever encountered this kind of feelings?
"Aku hidup seolah-olah mendengar Allah bercakap kepadaku menerusi Al-Quran ini... Manakah penghormatan yang dapat dicapai oleh seseorang lebih tinggi dari penghormatan Ilahi yang amat besar ini?" -Syed Qutb, Tafsir Fi Zilal-
Then, I started to ask myself. Am I not important?
Allah gives me a thing that most of people in the world doesn't have. Fikrah - an understanding of my own religion. I understand what I was created for. I understand what everything is created for. I understand my mission in this world.
Not everyone have that.
I know I have to fix this world. I need to bring back Al-Haq to this world.
Al-Haq is truth. What is truth? By definition of Al-Quran, truth is kindness.
So, my mission in this world is to bring back all the kindness our Prophet had taught us. Islam is peace. Literally, it means peace. Islam is all about bringing back peace to this world, saving humanity and be kind.
That is my mission - to restore back the world's safety.
I looked around. Crimes rates are increasing. People become crazier by time. Rich people become richer. Poors become more poor. Kids are being killed. Animals are being manipulated. Trees are being chopped down.
Tell me if you see peace in your country. Because I am not seeing it. No, not in Malaysia.
And how I can view myself as worthless and useless? Who can you view ourself that way?
I have a mission. A big mission. I carry that behind my back. God had chosen me. He gave me a very big role. Something that I can't play with. The future of the world is in my hand.
I need to bring back the people belief towards Him. I need to make the others trust Him for all their difficulties. I need to help others to find peace in their soul. I need to tell others that world has not reach the end yet for them to change. I need to save others from stupid things and this materialistic cruel world. I need to save my friends, my family and everyone else that I can reach.
You know how Prince Arthur was destined to save his kingdom?
Harry Potter was destined to save his world of magic.
Tris Prior was destined to save her friends, family and lover.
Katniss Everdeen was destined to save the people in her country.
Muhammad bin Abdullah was destined to save the world.
That is what I am right now in the eyes of Allah. That is what you are in the eyes of Allah. Very important.
We are not doing whatever we are doing for ourselves, but for the human kind itself. We are trying to save 7 billions of human beings from pains and suffers in the hereafter. Of course, we are important.
You do not need to be beautiful.
You do not need to be a genius.
All you need to be is a worker, a real slave, who gives her heart and soul to Allah The Almighty for her ultimate mission in this world.
"I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me." -Allah, The Almight, [51,56]-